Choosing your cofounder is everything. It’s more important than your product. More important than timing. More important than the market.
Because at the end of the day, you can pivot your product. You can find a new customer. But the person you choose to build with? That’s the foundation of everything. If that dynamic is off—even a little—you’ll feel it in every decision, every delay, every doubt. I learned that the hard way.
Don’t waste too much time forcing a fit
My initial cofounder at Howdy.com wasn’t my current cofounder, Frank. It was someone else—a seasoned, respected, smart CTO with a big-name resume. But nothing clicked.
Everything felt hard. There was friction around decisions. My partner moonlighted while I was all-in, funding it personally while living and breathing the mission. He wanted the upside of being a cofounder without taking the downside risks. Six months in, we had no real momentum on the thing that mattered most and a hundred excuses why things “couldn’t be done.”
Eventually, I realized he wasn’t the wrong person because of his skill set. He was the wrong person for me.
Seek a cofounder match from someone who knows you
My now-husband, Lloyd, my fiancé at the time, introduced me to my second cofounder because he thought we’d be great together. Perhaps a mentor or a peer in your local startup community can do the same favor for you.
Lloyd didn’t just pair Frank and me because of our complementary skills—he matched us based on work ethics, values, and lived experience. Lloyd knew I couldn’t co-lead with someone who needed to be pushed.
Frank was disciplined, consistent, and had the internal drive you can’t teach. I didn’t need to motivate him. He was already self-motivated. I could trust that he’d show up the way I showed up. That’s what I’d been missing.
The signs you’ve found the right partner
Frank didn’t wait to be asked to do something once he joined me. He took the reins. Within two weeks, he had solved a big problem we’d been trying to address for months. He jumped in and began leading the engineering team. It was the first time I felt like I had a true partner on the technical side.
But what made me most confident about him? He didn’t treat roles as rigid. He wanted to learn. He sat in on sales calls, joined marketing meetings, and asked for coaching on the business side. Today, he’s one of the strongest salespeople on our team—because he was never afraid to try, fail, and learn.
That’s another trait I now obsessively screen for: people who are not afraid to fail but learn from every misstep. Failure isn’t a red flag. Failure without reflection is.
Spotting the wrong fit before it’s too late
Looking back, I now see red flags I ignored in my first cofounder: reluctance to go all-in, excuses instead of solutions, and the quiet drift of someone who starts showing up less before they say they’re leaving.
So here’s what I recommend to anyone evaluating a potential cofounder:
• Start with alignment. What stresses them out? How do they handle pressure? What’s their lens on failure and resilience? How do their answers mesh with yours?
• Watch how they show up. Do they honor commitments even when it’s inconvenient? I once saw Frank leave a family event early to fulfill a team obligation. That’s not just discipline—it’s integrity.
• Look for a growth mindset, not credentials. I’m skeptical of people who went to Ivy League schools. Why? Because they sometimes come in assuming they already know more than everyone. The best cofounders are the ones who say, “I don’t know—teach me.” They learn quickly, execute efficiently, and continue to improve. Their aim improves over time.
You can’t fake chemistry (but you can test for it)
I got lucky. I didn’t vet Frank with a structured interview or a startup therapist. We became friends first. We had similar childhoods — both raised by immigrant parents and shaped by early struggle. We are also both endlessly optimistic. That worldview alignment matters more than you think.
You want someone who doesn’t collapse under pressure. Someone accountable, even when it’s not convenient. Someone who doesn’t explain things to you like you’re clueless, or patronizes your leadership because you don’t fit their mold.
You won’t learn all of that in a job interview. But you can simulate it by building something small together or creating real adversity moments to test for resilience.
Don’t wait for the ideal person
The biggest trap founders fall into? Waiting for the perfect cofounder before they begin. Don’t do that.
If you’ve got an idea and passion, move. Build something. Show progress. Use freelancers if you have to. Validate the problem. If you do that, you’ll gain momentum and become more attractive to a future cofounder.
And if that person joins later, your partnership doesn’t have to be 50/50. Equity is negotiable. But commitment isn’t.
The real test of a cofounder is simple: Do they show up, even when it’s hard? Even when no one’s watching? Even when they have every excuse not to? If the answer is yes, hold onto them. If it’s not, keep the momentum going with your business.
You’ll find the right person by becoming the kind of founder someone extraordinary wants to work with. And when that happens, you’ll know: you’re no longer carrying the company alone. You’re building it together.
This article originally appeared on FastCompany.com